A Deep Dive Into Kamar: Quiet Battles, Big Faith

Amelia

Welcome back to No Names, Just Vibes. I’m Amelia, chilling on the mic with my brother Tyrone, and today we’ve got a story that… yeah, it’s different.

Tyrone Wigfall

Yeah. We’re not doing “let’s talk about struggle in theory” today. We’re sitting with somebody who’s literally lived it in his body. Kemar, welcome to the show, man.

Kemar

I appreciate y’all having me, for real.

Amelia

We’re glad you’re here. So for folks who don’t know you yet, can you just set the scene a little bit? Who you are right now, and then how sickle cell has kinda shaped what your life looked like coming up?

Kemar

So my name is Kamar. I’m a 19‑year‑old boy with sickle cell hemoglobin SS. I go to Tougaloo College, I’m on the men’s soccer team, I’m an RA, I’m a presidential scholar… but, like, sickle cell has been a part of my life since I was born. For me, I kind of had a bad hip my whole high school career. I knew it was something. I was in the band and I would play drums, specifically I played the quints, which is the heaviest percussion drum that you can play. So I used to march with it and carry it, and I would always have, like, real bad leg pain afterwards. And even with soccer, after a rough game in high school, my hip would be hurting.

Tyrone Wigfall

So you’re already juggling band, soccer, sickle cell… and the hip is just screaming in the background.

Kemar

Yeah. I remember one day specifically where it felt like a crisis, but it was the first time I had a crisis that wasn’t in my back, ‘cause my crisis pain is usually in my back. It was my hip. I fell out of my bed, I was laying on my floor just screaming and aching in pain. And I kept telling my doctors, “My hip’s hurting, my hip’s hurting,” and they took an x‑ray and they told me, “Your bone is decaying. Your bone isn’t receiving enough blood and oxygen how it’s supposed to be.” So when I got diagnosed with avascular necrosis, I was already on stage four, which means I literally was on the verge of collapsing.

Amelia

Whew.

Kemar

So when they told me that, they was like, “Hey, we can’t do any preventative bone surgeries or anything like that to keep your regular hip. The only thing is straight to the hip replacement.” And the hip replacement is supposed to be, like, the last thing. And so it’s like, “No, you have to have it or you’re literally going to collapse. Your bone is going to break and you’re not going to be able to walk at all.”

Tyrone Wigfall

Man. And you’re… eighteen at this point?

Kemar

Yeah, I was eighteen. And I had just signed to play soccer. I signed to play soccer April 4th of 2024. I got my surgery, like, May 28th. And May 25th is when I graduated high school. I walked across the stage, and literally two days afterwards I was getting ready for hip surgery.

Amelia

Most kids are planning a graduation party. You’re planning, like, “Can I walk?”

Kemar

Exactly. So I asked them, I was like, “Hey, like, you know… ‘cause everybody that I knew that had a hip replacement was an adult. All of them had limps and they could barely walk, they had to walk with a cane. So I’m like, “Hey, I’m younger, so shouldn’t I be able to…?” And they was like, “Nah.” Like, I might not even be able to walk. I might have to be on a cane or a walker. And soccer wasn’t even a question to them. So I’m just like, “Dang, I ain’t even going to be able to do what I did normally.”

Tyrone Wigfall

When you hear that at eighteen, “We don’t even see soccer in your future,” what was going through your head for real? Like the honest version.

Kemar

The spark was living with sickle cell. When you live with sickle cell, at the time for eighteen years, you pretty much take these complications head on. For me, I’m like, “Hey, alright, cool, I’m already expecting…” Not in a lack of faith, as in, you know, Jesus can’t do what he’s supposed to, because Jesus is very… Jesus is my main spark because I want to be a living testimony. I want to be able to, even if I got healed or even if I didn’t, he’s still there to push me and there to be there for me because his strength works best in weakness. So as I was learning that and understanding that different people that had different circumstances still did great things for the kingdom, I was like, “This is not going to stop me.”

Amelia

You’re talking about surgery like, “Yeah, this is big,” but your reference point is, “I’ve already seen so much pain with sickle cell that I’m not folding.” That’s… that’s wild.

Kemar

Yeah. ‘Cause, like, I remember my junior year of high school, I went to the hospital seven times in one year. And mind you, each time it was like a couple days or a week. Blood transfusions every time. So we talking ten bags of blood, you know, I get two packs of blood every time I get a transfusion. I went through that and realized that I’m still here. I don’t have a spleen. I don’t have a hip. At one point I had strains on my heart. And I’m still here. So if I can make it through that, I can make it through a hip replacement.

Tyrone Wigfall

Yeah.

Kemar

And I healed. I got my surgery on May 28th, and they wasn’t even expecting me to be healed so early, but I was healed in two weeks. I went to physical therapy for like two months, but that was just to truly get back to 100%. I was off the walker in two weeks, I was walking on my own in two weeks, and that was completely not normal. And when I went back to my doctor for my three‑month checkup in December, he said there’s no issue, everything is completely how it’s supposed to be. I literally went, got my surgery May, June, July, and I went and played a full soccer season August, September, October. Came back for Christmas break in December, and he said everything was perfectly fine and there was nothing wrong.

Amelia

So doctors are like, “Cane, maybe no soccer,” and you’re like, “Actually, I’m off this walker in two weeks and I’m playing a whole season.”

Tyrone Wigfall

And the whole time, the through‑line I keep hearing from you is Jesus, your mom, and this decision, “I’m gonna be a living testimony.” Not “I’m gonna be a victim,” not “I’m done,” but “People are gonna see what’s possible.”

Kemar

Yeah, that’s exactly it. Like, I don’t wanna just be a soccer superstar or, you know, I like trucking and race cars and stuff, I don’t wanna just be this popular guy. I really want people to see that it is possible. You can do it.

Amelia

So you’ve mentioned sickle cell a bunch already, and I wanna slow down there. ‘Cause there’s the surgery, but then there’s the whole disease underneath it. When you call it a “quiet battle,” what does that actually look like day to day, that people don’t see?

Kemar

Man, it truly changed my life. And I try not to talk about it as much because I don’t wanna blow people’s head off with the same conversation. But if you know a person with sickle cell, you understand how it touches their life. There is nothing normal about their life because of the medicines that we have to take and the complications that we face. All of my homeboys, they couldn’t even… I had one homeboy that told me, he said, “The last time I was in the hospital was when I was born.” Right? So when they come and visit me, they’re like, “I’m in a hospital right now, like this is… this is where people come when they’re about to die,” or, you know what I’m saying?

Kemar

Every time my homeboys visit, they just looking in my room, looking at all the things that’s in my body and all that stuff that’s going into me, the medicine and the PCAs and the IVs and the blood work and x‑rays on x‑rays on x‑rays. And they don’t truly comprehend it unless they see it. And sickle cell anemia is such a quiet battle. Because I can be 110% right now in front of your face, right, and tomorrow be fighting for my life. It literally is that serious. It’s that deep.

Tyrone Wigfall

“I can be 110% in front of your face and tomorrow be fighting for my life.” That… hits.

Kemar

People really go through this. I did a study last year for my English class. We had to do research on a topic that we chose, and mine was sickle cell. I found out about the lifespan of people with sickle cell in different countries. Number one, in America, it’s only 40… it’s like 47, 49, right? And that’s in the United States of America with the best healthcare possible. In other countries, it is 20 years old, 30 years old, 15 years old. So the fact that it changes your life… I’ve seen people that lost both their hips. I’ve seen people that have arthritis. People die because of organ failure because they didn’t get attention as quickly.

Amelia

You’re a teenager in English class looking up numbers that basically say, “Yo, your clock is different.”

Kemar

Yeah. And surviving avascular necrosis of my left hip truly showed me, like, hey, it’s not a joke, but you can overcome it. And the quiet battles that no one sees just truly shows me how my character is, you know, because your character is determined on what you do when someone is not looking.

Kemar

So just taking care of my body, even when I’m tired or fatigued—drinking water, drinking milk because people with sickle cell are prone to bone diseases, cranberry juice or any kind of juices that’s good for your blood, eating folic acid vegetables, dark vegetables, because people with sickle cell consume more folic acid than the average person. People with sickle cell require twice the protein of an average person daily because of how much our body tries to break itself down. But mind you now, I’m trying to be an athlete still dealing with this. I’m trying to be in a gym. I’m in the gym lifting weights every Monday through Friday and my own body trying to fight itself anyway. So I gotta triple, you know, or I gotta drink Liquid I.V. to make sure my electrolytes are hitting where they’re supposed to be. I gotta go to my appointments and make sure my weight is in check and I’m growing and I’m healthy and I’m strong and I’m fit.

Tyrone Wigfall

And folks just see you on the field like, “Oh, he just blessed, he athletic.” They’re not seeing the science project you’re running on yourself every day just to show up.

Kemar

Exactly. And those are the real silent battles that nobody sees—where it’s hard to go to sleep at night, ‘cause most people with sickle cell struggle with their sleep hours. Nobody talks about how hard it is to go to sleep, or when you’re in sleep you sleep for a long time, or people think you’re lazy ‘cause you’re always in your room relaxing, trying to rest to make sure that you don’t go into a crisis. Or when it gets cold, I’m not coming outside anymore, because when it’s cold, your veins get tighter and they close up, and our cells are already trying to sickle up when our body’s at regular temperature. So what’s going to happen when it’s cold? These are battles that nobody talks about that we deal with on a daily basis. We’re losing people with sickle cell left and right. Outside of Jesus Christ, there is no physical cure for this disorder. Right. So we truly, we truly, truly, truly, truly fight so many battles that people don’t know about.

Amelia

The way you’re breaking it down, it really redefines what a “win” is. Like when you say, “Waking up and not going to the hospital, going to sleep and not going to pain means the world,” that’s a whole different scoreboard.

Kemar

Yeah, my small wins mean way more. Waking up and not going to the hospital, going to sleep and not going to pain—stuff that people take for granted—I’m like, that means the world. And even just being grateful that I’m still on this earth and I’m still walking, because sickle cell could have gotten me at 14 years old. Sickle cell could have gotten me the last time I went to the hospital. I could have collapsed in my surgery, but I didn’t. So even though it’s a struggle, just still being grateful for the little things that I am doing.

Tyrone Wigfall

And in the middle of all that, you’re not just surviving, you’re hooping—well, not hooping, you’re out there playing college soccer. Talk about that part. How do you go from hiding this from coaches to competing with dudes from Brazil and Africa while your body’s doing all of this?

Kemar

This was… as an athlete with sickle cell, as a college athlete with sickle cell hemoglobin SS, it took me a while to truly feel comfortable in my disorder. I remember when I was little, I would never even tell my coaches that I had something wrong because I felt that they would treat me different. Or I felt that I wouldn’t get as much playing time or I wouldn’t get as much looks. Like, “Okay, he’s the sick one, we only gonna play him if we winning,” or they’re only gonna put me in the last 30 seconds of the game.

Kemar

Even to high school, I think high school is when I finally told them, I was like, “Hey, this is what I got going on,” because it was so obvious. I would be at school one day perfectly, and you wouldn’t see me for the next week and a half. He’s like, “Where you got going?” and I’m like, “Alright, this is what I got going on. This is really what I deal with outside of soccer and school.” It really takes a humble spirit and I really had to work on my humility when it came to that, to say, “Yeah, I do got this wrong and I do have to work on this. And if you see me getting tired and I gotta step out and everybody’s still going and pushing, know that I’m not trying to take a shortcut. I’m really pushing my body here.”

Kemar

And that’s how I know Jesus was there, because my head soccer coach, when I told him I had sickle cell anemia, his son and his older sister has it. He was raised around it. He doesn’t have the disorder, he’s perfectly healthy, but his sister has it, his son has it, his grandma has it. So when he told me that, especially when he told my mom that, it made me feel like at home because he pushed me to my limits, but I was able to be pushed in a safe manner, as in he knew my limitations. So when I needed a break or when I was in the hospital, he didn’t kick me off the team or threaten me to lose my position.

Kemar

I actually played against big teams. I played against the number one ranked college men’s soccer NAIA team in the state of Mississippi. My sophomore season, I played almost every game. Once again, this is collegiate soccer, and I’m playing with sickle cell hemoglobin SS without a spleen, without a left hip, with all the extra complications that come with sickle cell. I told my mom, I’m literally competing with 110% healthy people, people that’s been playing this sport since they came out the womb. I didn’t start till middle school. I got teammates that’s from Africa, from Germany, from Brazil, where they eat, sleep, and breathe soccer, and I’m practicing with them. That fuels me to be the better person each and every single day.

Amelia

You’ve mentioned your mom a couple times, your little brother, the Sickle Cell Foundation, even a lawyer who helped you out. I wanna talk about your village for a second. Who’s holding you up while all this is happening?

Kemar

So when it comes to my community, my mother is my community. My mom… it’s really just been me, her, and my baby brother. She’s seen me at my worst, she’s seen me at my best. She’s seen me when I was stubborn, she sees me when I’m healthy. Especially now, she’s very proud because now I actually take it seriously. When I go to the hospital, it’s just like, “Dang, I’m trying to make it a year,” but she knows now, like, I’m really on it, so she’s proud.

Kemar

I remember when I finally got back in the room after surgery, she was the first person to walk in there, before even the doctor came in the room. She was there. I knew she was nervous, because I said, “Mom, you gonna stay here?” She said, “No, I’m gonna go to the store while you’re in surgery.” She left the hospital, went to the store—I know it was to get her mind off it—and she was the first person to get back in the room once they called her and told her I was done. She helped me walk, you know. My mom saw her son lose a part of his body and get up, and look what I’m doing now.

Tyrone Wigfall

That’s heavy.

Kemar

Then, you know, the Sickle Cell Association of Savannah, they helped me a lot, especially when it came to funding school for me. They helped my mom and both of them, because it was pretty rough getting to that. Just imagine you gotta deal with sickle cell, you gotta deal with soccer, you gotta deal with all these academics, and then, you know, finances. All of this is coming right after I got my hip surgery. It’s a lot. I got my hip surgery right when I graduated high school, getting ready to go to college. That’s an entire transition, a new chapter of life, and I had to focus on my body while everything else was coming at me.

Kemar

I wanna give a big shout out to a guy named Mike Hostilo. Mike Hostilo helped me out a lot when it came to support in any way I needed it—whether it was transportation, food, finances, anything like that. Mike Hostilo Law Firm truly helped me. But my mom was the biggest part in helping me recover and making sure I was on the right track, making sure I was eating right, drinking right, moving every day. Because, you know, it’s easy to get lazy after you have surgery. When they told me to stand up after six hours I had my surgery, I was scared. And it takes her just to be there while having my baby brother.

Kemar

My baby brother also helped me as well, too, because he’s a little kid, he’s energetic. He’s like, “Hey, you wanna go outside?” And I’m like, “Sure, why not?” Because I gotta move. I gotta get up, I gotta get my body used to it, get it off my mind. So my mom, Mike Hostilo, Sickle Cell Foundation of Savannah, even my little brother—they all played a big part when it came to my healing.

Amelia

I love that his “you wanna go outside?” is like holy physical therapy.

Tyrone Wigfall

Facts. And I’m hearing, like, you did your part, but your village really created a runway for you to even get back to that field.

Amelia

And you didn’t just kinda coast through recovery. You’ve said before you took it like life or death. Can you talk about that mindset and what it looked like trying to learn to trust your body again—with a piece of metal in your hip?

Kemar

So actually, I remember right before my surgery, I went with my homeboys and we played soccer. I was like, “Man, I’m finna have this surgery. I don’t even know.” We went out, we played—I think I played at his church because I was a part of his church team at the time—and it was a great game. I’m dapping everybody up like, “Man, I gotta go have surgery. I don’t even know what’s getting ready to happen, but just in case.”

Kemar

With recovery, sometimes it can feel like I could take ten steps forward and take twenty back. But the fact that I keep going and keep going, just the mindset that will make sure you don’t stop. Because as long as you keep moving forward, you can walk, run, sprint. As long as you don’t stop, you can crawl. As long as you keep moving forward and keep going through recovery. I was taking my recovery very seriously. I tell my homegirls and homeboys, when they’re getting hurt or they have to have surgery on their knee or they pulled a muscle, I tell them, “Take your recovery seriously.” I took my recovery like it was a life or death situation. I think that also helped with getting my balance back, learning how to walk again, learning how to jump, feeling comfortable that I literally have to stretch and fall and bump into people and I got a piece of metal in my body. You gotta get all of that out of your head and say, “Hey, my body’s just as regular as them.”

Tyrone Wigfall

That’s such a bar: “Recovery is not extra credit, it’s life or death.”

Amelia

And you’re doing all of this while also, like you said, embracing that you are different. You’ve said, “Enjoy being different. Take pride in it.” Can you leave folks with what that means to you now?

Kemar

Yeah. I really want people to see that it is possible, you can do it, and enjoy being different. Enjoy it, take pride in it. Because it took me a long time to accept that I am different. And now that I did, like, take joy and take pride in that—you’re special in that. My small wins mean way more. And even, you know, just being grateful that I’m still on this earth and I’m still walking. So just once again, big shout out to Jesus Christ because without him… he’s the center. He’s the only reason why I can do what I do. Thank you to my mom, my counselor, like I said, the Sickle Cell Foundation of Savannah. And my name is Kamar. I just wanna let y’all know that anything is possible regardless of what you deal with.

Tyrone Wigfall

Amen to that.

Amelia

Kemar, thank you for trusting us with all of that—your pain, your faith, your momma’s heart, your little brother dragging you outside, all of it. I know somebody listening needed to hear you say, “As long as you don’t stop, you can crawl.”

Tyrone Wigfall

To everybody out there fighting a quiet battle—sickle cell, chronic illness, mental health, whatever it is—your small wins count. Waking up not in pain counts. Staying out the hospital this week counts. Saying the truth out loud about what you’re carrying counts.

Amelia

This is No Names, Just Vibes. I’m Amelia…

Tyrone Wigfall

I’m Tyrone.

Kemar

And I’m Kamar. Appreciate y’all for listening.

Amelia

We’re sending love to you and your village. Take care of yourselves, celebrate the quiet victories, and we’ll catch y’all on the next episode.